Addressing this topic requires definition of terms since some see variation in the word "cancel."

Boundaries - in relationships, are healthy guidelines of expectations not only of self, but other people. Healthy boundaries respect roles, position, and relationships. It's held together with respectful communication.

Wall - communication does not exist. There is no boundary because there are no allowances for communication. It's a block, cancel, no longer in my field of vision way of living.

In the book "Rules of Estrangement" by Dr. Joshua Coleman, he makes some interesting observations about the decline of adult child to parent relationships. A large international study of close to 2,700 parents over the age of 65, found that parents in the US have almost twice as much conflict with their adult children when compared with parents in Israel, Germany, the UK, and Spain. (p.42)

This has a high correlation to a style of individualism which is distinctive to American culture. Furthermore, Dr. Coleman notes that today's parents live in a "meritocracy," merit-based familial relationship where the expectation is to be attuned to the mood and needs of the adult children in order to "earn a continued connection." (p.43)

Perfect parenting does not exist. No one came through childhood with specialized parents who never messed up, never missed the mark, never overreacted and had perfectly processed their own childhood issues.

It's critical to understand that parents who continue to verbally and emotionally provoke their adult children, have a deficit in their own life which needs to be addressed. If they refuse to do that, define your boundary (remember that definition).

Since this topic has multiple variants, reconciliation will be the post for tomorrow, including what scripture advises or directs us to do.